A person of interest

Many of us grew up in an environment where the people we saw and interacted with were never much different than us. Often, our friends and families look like us, sound like us, and even share the same interests and occupations we do. Our worlds are small and our personal bubbles can be even smaller.

In my own experience, meeting and interacting with people who are different than me can be a daunting task, one I shy away from. What can I talk about with someone who doesn’t have the same strong Midwestern roots, a particular set of beliefs and an unwavering love for Broadway musicals?

But, when I look farther back at my life I can also see the interactions I have had, and the people who differ from me have often had the greatest impact on the person I have become. In fact, it has become my understanding that those who look, act, believe and live differently than us sometimes teach us the greatest life lessons.

To better explain this new understanding I’d like to introduce you to a string of people I have met over the past few years. All of these individuals, at first glance, look like they are the opposite of me, yet each one of them has left intangible and undeniable marks on me in some way, shape or form.

The first person you should know about is someone I now consider a best friend – her name is Amy. Amy and I met shortly after her wedding.

Looking at the two of us together, Amy and I easily appear like polar opposites, a brunette and a blonde, but it is more than that. I had a conservative upbringing and was the oldest child. I like a good plan and a to-do list. Amy is the youngest, she’s vivacious and the life of every party, a party she probably threw together the night before with a single trip to the store and zero lists.

Amy is an outspoken, tell-it-like-it-is firecracker and I tend to keep my frustrations bottled up inside until they can no longer be contained.

Amy became a single mom pretty early in life. When she eventually found her other half, her family went from one mom and one daughter to two parents and four pre-teen girls. Her family grew again a few years ago when she and her husband added a 10-pound baby boy to the mix.

Amy’s move from mom of one to mom of four was immediate. Overnight she became a round-the-clock comforter, companion and counselor for four young women all entering what is arguably the most difficult period of life: adolescence. She did it all without missing a beat.

I learned through my friendship with Amy Jones what true, unconditional love and support for a person is. No one I have ever met in my life has portrayed such an unwavering love for others. Her love is exemplified in both words and actions, especially if you ask one of those four daughters.

Her unconditional love is not just for her children either. Throughout the years I have experienced the same love shown to myself, and my daughter. No matter the chaos I bring to a scenario, the amount of times I spill my drink on her, show up at her doorstep unannounced or send a text message ranting and raving about the most recent events of my life, Amy’s response has remained the same. She is there and she shows unwavering love.

Her reassurance to me has been one of faith and hope. Her ability to call me out and ‘say it like it is’ with knowing looks and an occasional pep-talk has proven to me that, despite a person’s shortcomings or mistakes, true love for others can and does exist.

Looking back, I cannot imagine not having her in my life, as different as we are, we mesh well together and bring out the best in one another.

The next individual I’d like you to meet is Lucas.

Lucas Brown was a co-worker for a short time in my life before he left for California. It is Lucas I blame for my ability to turn nearly any quip into a “your face” pun and for my secret love of Led Zeppelin.

When I first started working with Lucas I was young and a less-than-ideal employee. I was slow, grouchy and under the impression that the entire world revolved around me. I was young, naive and judgmental, three things he was not.

At first, Lucas and I did not get along. I saw him as a meany-head. He liked heavy metal, watched horror movies, liked vegetables, exercised and held beliefs directly opposed to mine. He was someone I never would have gone to for life advice or listened to with any consideration.

He saw me as lazy, unmotivated and self-centered. And he was right.

Then, one night after staying late to clean up the store Lucas and I had a heart-to-heart.

Lucas called me out for my lazy attitude, but he also pushed me. With kindness he will never in his life admit to, Lucas pushed me to do better. He saw and pointed out the fact that if I applied myself and if I chose to care about anyone other than myself, I could be a great employee, and in turn a better person.

Not only did Lucas confront me, he continued to encourage me and push me to do and become more. He continued to see my potential over my present state.

Did I become the best employee ever? No. But, did I get better because someone took the time to see my potential and push me toward it? Yes.

Lucas left to pursue his own dreams and I eventually left for a different job too, but his jokes and tapping fingers stay alive inside my head. We were an odd couple, a preacher’s daughter and a staunch atheist, but the things that made us different also made us eager to learn more about one another, and from one another.

He taught me compassion and care for others, regardless of how they appear or what my preconceived idea of them is.

The final person of interest I’d like you to meet is also a man I worked with, he used to be my boss. At barely 23 years old, I went to work for a gentleman in Paris who owned his own business. His shop, like many others, had been around for decades, just like him.

The differences between me and my boss were obvious, he was an older and well-established gentleman, I was a young person still unaware of who I wanted to be and how I would get there.

This particular boss was very adamant about a handful of things, among them was an emphasis on his community. Locally, he sat on several boards and donated routinely to see improvements happen in town.

He is a patron of the arts, a connoisseur of local food and a supporter of both start-ups and industry in our community. At 24 years old, he approached me and asked me to take his seat on the local Chamber of Commerce, representing his business.

At first, I had zero desire to join any kind of board or do any kind of extra, after-hours activity, however, I agreed. That decision fundamentally shifted my perspective.

Becoming active in part of my community led my boss and I to have a new topic of conversation, one we began to have regularly. He was born and raised in a small town, whereas I was a city transplant. Once I got my feet wet with small-town community projects I was hooked.

He helped to guide me when I had questions, taught me history lessons, educated me on non-profit organizations, lent me extra time to volunteer and encouraged me to make shopping local my first priority. My perspective on small-town life fundamentally changed because of his input. His role in my life shifted from boss to mentor in many ways.

Eventually, I moved away from that job but kept my role on the chamber of commerce. Few words mean more to me than hearing Steve Benefield say he’s proud of me or what I am doing. He remains the person I turn to with community history questions too.

Never in a million years did I think that these three individuals, Amy, Lucas and Steve, would be the subject of a heartfelt letter penned in the office of a newspaper. I doubt when these three met and interacted with me they thought they would be the subject of a column either. However, the impact each one of these humans has left on my soul remains strong, and so does my encouragement to you.

Each of them built a relationship with me and chose to give me a chance, despite how different I appeared to them. None of the relationships started with instant chemistry or a string of shared interests. Our various relationships started with mutual friends, a poor work performance and a new job, but they all continue to this day.

People come in all shapes and sizes, with varied interests, hobbies, likes, passions and desires. As Robert Palmer says “It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round.”

People carry with them not only the ability to make the world around them a better place but to also make the other humans around them better individuals, whether they are ideal matches or not.

This week, if you meet a person of interest, someone different than yourself, I challenge you to allow them to speak into your life. Perhaps, in getting to know someone different than yourself you will find a new and renewed version of yourself.