LOYAL. LOCAL. COMPLETE.
I’m just gonna say it. Dating in 2024 sucks.
Growing up in small-town Illinois, I have heard countless stories of how my older generation of relatives met their husbands and/or wives. The dates and evenings spent at movies, dinners, parks, community events and various other places – every story captivated me deeply. I wanted to grow up and find love in the loudest, most passionate way; a ‘happy ever after’ you could say.
I remember attending my great-grandparents’ wedding anniversary. One of their favorite things to do with each other was dance. So at their celebration, with the generations stemming from their love watching, they danced and smiled together the whole night. Their devotion to each other was enough to make tears spill throughout the room.
That love, the undisputable, patient kind, is what I hope to have one day.
Older generations are celebrating decades of love and growth. We come together and listen to their stories of the hills and valleys they’ve gone through to get where they are now. Yet, younger generations are struggling to embrace the same ideology.
A study conducted at the University of California, Berkeley “revealed that the number of Americans who do not have a ‘steady romantic partner’ has increased by 50 percent since 1986.” This statistic can be linked to the increased popularity of social media and casual dating apps. Nearly half of young adults in the U.S. have reported using an online dating platform. Apps such as Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and OkCupid all advertise the promise to increase a person’s chances of finding love. Despite the high volume of individuals who use these dating sites, approximately 60 million in 2023, only 12 percent of these individuals reported eventually forming a committed relationship.
This research further shows how the growing evolution of technology has killed today’s dating environment. ‘Swipe’ dating platforms take away all personable aspects of meeting someone. It encourages individuals to immediately judge someone based on their appearance, rather than learn who they are as a person.
I’ve tried using those apps and, for a lack of better words, it sucks. Countless swipes trying to find “the one.” I quickly learned those tools were never going to help me get there.
In my own experiences, I have learned that many people aged 20 to 30 are rarely looking for a life partner. I’ve navigated my way through countless individuals that show the effort of a “long-term” partner, but ultimately decide they just want to have fun and move on. It’s essentially speed dating, but not as entertaining as the fun social event.
I constantly question the goals of individuals in my generation and wonder if they ever think that far in the future. Since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of what my wedding would be like. Of course, the themes and colors have changed over the years, but the expectations of my partner have never wavered.
Am I a hopeless romantic at heart? Of course. I think everyone should be, even just a little.
Is it foolish to think I could find my “true love” while moseying through the grocery store, walking through a park or attending a concert of the band I adore? Probably. But I want to hold onto that hope. My great-grandparents showed me that it is possible.
So while I watch young adults around me be consumed by technology and disconnection, I will still hold onto the dream that one day I will celebrate an “old” love full of deep understanding and care.