LOYAL. LOCAL. COMPLETE.
Six years ago, this month, I took on the most complicated, dangerous and overwhelming role in my life so far. Six years ago, I became a mom.
No amount of book reading or researching can prepare a person for parenthood, no matter how organized or “type-a” a person claims to be. Stepping into the role of a parent has been one of the most exciting, scary and fulfilling journeys I have been on and every year seems to get a little bit better.
Now that my child is six, the whole world is different. What were once sleepless nights, bottles, diapers and naptimes has changed to school schedules, play dates and some of the most entertaining and enlightening conversations I’ve ever had.
After school and work end each day, the two of us catch up and talk about our days, sometimes it’s on a walk and sometimes it’s on the kitchen floor surrounded by toys. Our conversations often reveal to me what is not only important in the eyes of a kindergartener, but what matters to me too. I often find that words filled with wisdom come from the mouth of my own child.
During our talks, my kiddo and I discuss everything going on from spelling lists to loose teeth, and sometimes what will happen in the future.
A few nights ago, the two of us had a very lengthy discussion about what we want to be when we grow up. Despite my daughter’s belief that I am a grown-up, I shared with her that there are still goals I have and dreams that I want to fulfill in my future too, when I am “more grown up.”
When I am “more grown-up,” I hope to be a published author with a book series. I also hope to take a turn on our community theatre’s stage and someday run (or, more likely, walk) a marathon.
As is often the case, our simple conversation led to a longer and deeper conversation about how life works and why it works the way that it does. If you are a parent; or someone who spends time with elementary students, you know that’s just a nice way of saying I had to answer the question “Why?” a half dozen times.
“Why do I want to do what I want to do?”
“Why is there so much stuff that I want to do?”
“Why do I like the stuff that I like?”
“Why would I ever want to change what I do?”
When I had this most recent “dream job conversation” with my mini-me, I caught myself telling her words I now understand that I needed to hear more than she did. I told my six-year-old that she could do and be anything she wanted, and she did not have to be just one thing in her life. She could and should try to be all of the different things. She isn’t limited and she is very capable. Who she is now and who she will be in the future is going to change.
If we are lucky enough, we are each given the opportunity to grow and change over time. We are granted the opportunity to see, feel and experience a variety of things over our lifetime. Those life experiences, both good and bad, are often the catalysts for the things we want to do and who we want to become, and yes, they can and will change over time.
My dream job at this moment in time is to do exactly what I have the honor and privilege to do every week, write. In the future, I’d love the opportunity to become a biographer, a person who sits with others and helps them write out their life story. But, that wasn’t always the case.
As a child, I wanted to work at Pizza Hut, as a teenager I wanted to be a teacher and as a young adult I wanted to be a motivational speaker. My “dream jobs” have changed and evolved over the years just like I have.
Ten years ago, I wanted to live in a city and have a half-dozen kids before I turned 30. Today, I’ve reached the 30-year mark and I am content with my single babe and small-town life. My desires have changed.
I’m not sure when we got to the place in life where we began believing that we had to be the same thing and carry the same occupations and passions all of our lives. Perhaps in limiting our ability to change course, we are actually stunting our own growth. The difficult truth for each one of us is that we will change over time; our thoughts, beliefs, goals and occupations are all subject to change.
I would never sit criss-cross applesauce on the floor and tell my small human that she could not change her mind about what she wanted to be. I would never tell her that because she wanted to be an artist last week she could not decide she wants to be a doctor this week. I expect her to grow and change, so why can’t “grown-ups” expect the same of themselves?
If you’ve never had a dream job conversation with your parents over purple Kool-aid and peanut butter cookies, I’d like to invite you to imagine that conversation now, but instead of the wise words of a supportive parent, I’d like for you to hear the words of a kind six-year-old.
According to her, one of the coolest things about being a “grown-up” is that you have the ability to do, to learn, to grow and to become anything you want to do. The only person who can stop you from learning something new or trying something different is yourself.
While it is true that people do not really change, it is also true that none of us stop growing. Sometimes we grow wider instead of taller, but regardless of our age, each one of us will continue to grow. While we may never be able to change who we are, the families we are born into or some of the personality traits we have picked up along the way, we will continue to have the opportunity to grow. It’s up to each one of us to embrace those growth opportunities and the new passions that life places in our paths.
In the words of a wise kindergarten student, “If you like it you should probably try it. You may not like it but that’s okay too, because at least you tried… that’s how I learned that I like to grow stuff in the garden, ‘cause I tried it and now it’s like my favorite thing.”